MCIP is committed to nurturing an environment of positive and supportive mentoring.
While conflict can elicit a number of negative emotions, conflict is a natural part of relationships. Learning to manage conflict is an important skill, and there are a number of resources to assist with achieving management and/or resolution. Few conflict situations are improved by ignoring them, and conflicts tend to grow if not addressed. Like fire, conflict can have positive attributes, but if left unattended, can lead to escalation and damage. Graduate school is very hierarchical, and students often feel disadvantaged by the power differential between them and faculty, creating potential for very complex conflicts.
Conflict with mentors can happen at any time during your academic career. The goal of this conflict guide is to help students understand how to navigate conflict, and connect with the resources to assist them through conflict.
Content
Prevention
While it is impossible to predict all possible sources of conflict, it is possible to prevent conflict by defining mutual expectations early. The previous section on “What kind of PI or lab would work best for you?” listed tools to define and self-assess your needs. Early discussions on what type of mentoring works best for you, and what you can expect from your major professor, can help minimize the chances of future conflict.
Many conflicts stem from miscommunication. We encourage students and faculty to start their mentor/advisee relationship with an intentional conversation about communication style, preferences, and expectations. There can be a number of factors that could generate a misalignment between preferences and expectations. Examples include, but are not limited to: work location, meeting schedules, frequency of one-on-one meetings, project deadlines, project roles and assignments, lab/group dynamics, reporting and manuscript writing assignments, publication authorship, funded research and dissertation work, field work and travel, or taking time off. Written expectations can go a long way to preventing conflict, by defining expectations for such things as coursework and study time, work hours and space, experimental design, and authorship.
Check out the Graduate Studies Mentee Resources for tools on how to set expectations for your mentor/mentee relationship.
Recognizing Conflict
Earlier, we introduced the idea that conflict is like fire. Like fire, conflict can have different temperatures. The sooner conflict is addressed, the less it can escalate into “hotter” and more complex conflict. Misunderstandings or misalignment of expectations can be minor at first, and grow into larger issues if left unaddressed.
Here are some examples of different types of conflict that might arise:
- Avoidance/neglect - not responding to emails, not meeting, not communicating
- Different expectations/unmet expectations
- Personality clashes
- Mismatched goals or priorities
- Issues with delivering or receiving feedback
- Distrust
- Bullying or abusive behavior
- Authorship issues
When Conflict Starts
- Address the issue early.
- Misunderstandings or misalignment of expectations can be minor at first, and grow into larger issues if left unaddressed. If you feel comfortable, we highly encourage open and honest dialogue between the mentee and the mentor.
- Consider documenting signs of conflict to assess the frequency and intensity of issues.
- As you work through the conflict, also document discussions and agreed plan/goals, and share with your mentor to ensure understanding. The Graduate Studies Mentee Resources page also has some helpful online tools if you want to start processing this yourself prior to talking to others.
- Seek resources to help you have a direct and non‐defensive conversation with your mentor.
- Your academic advisor can help you look at the situation’s different angles, and how your major professor might respond. The Ombuds Office is a confidential resource for any member of the campus community to talk through conflict situations and develop strategies for management and resolution.
- As you look at different resources, keep confidentiality in mind.
- Some offices on campus are confidential, and other offices/people are mandated to report certain issues, including but not limited to: child and elder abuse, certain crimes on and around campus, sexual harassment and sexual violence, and threats to self and others.
Meeting with Your Mentor
- Understand Expectations:
- Ask up front how frequently you should be checking in with each other. Bring challenges to their attention as soon as you can. Request clear feedback frequently.
- Prepare an agenda for every meeting:
- A clear agenda allows everyone to focus on the problems that need to be resolved.
- Explain the problem and leave your emotions out of the discussion:
- Describe the problem by stating the facts and explain how it is interfering with your work. The person you have a conflict with may not be familiar with the minute details of your work.
- Define in advance how you would like the problem to be resolved:
- Come to the meeting with one or more proposals to resolve the problem. It is important that the person you have a conflict with understands you are looking for a solution rather than complaining.
- Listen to your supervisor’s viewpoint and brainstorm about mutually beneficial solutions:
- Do not take criticism of your ideas personally or get defensive. Look at the problem from their viewpoint and brainstorm about solutions that will meet both of your needs.
- Put important agreements in writing:
- Miscommunication is a major source of conflict. Avoid miscommunication by following up each meeting with an email that summarizes what you have agreed upon and your action items.
- Always follow through on your end of the deal:
- Be sure that you keep your commitments, and if you are not able to let your supervisor know as soon as possible.
Finding Support
In addition to the MCIP chair, Advisors, and Coordinator, there are many campus resources to help students through a conflict:
- Counseling Services - individual and group counseling and support
- Ombuds Office - confidential conflict management resource for individual support and mediation
- Harassment & Discrimination Assistance and Prevention Program
- Center for Advocacy Resources and Education (CARE)
- The Lesbian, Gay Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual Resource Center (LGBTQIA+ Resource Center)
- The Women’s Resources and Research Center (WRRC)
- Sexual Violence Prevention and Response
- Office of Student Support and Judicial Affairs ‐ Student Rights and Grievances
- Escalation options:
We encourage students to connect with people within MCIP as their next step in finding support. This point of contact may depend on what relationships you have already established, and your level of trust and comfort with those individuals.
Depending on the situation, you may want to speak with someone outside of the program. That is okay too. Your Senior Academic Advisor in Graduate Studies is a good place to start.
- Remember that different people will give different advice based on their own background and experiences.
- You may want to seek advice from more than one person or campus resource before taking action.
- Confront the issue:
- With the support of your network, consider the outcomes that you hope to see, and start formulating a plan on how to make that happen. Think about practicing the conversation first, and know that individuals have different communication styles, and different points of view of the same situation.
- Seek resolution:
- Throughout the process, try to stay open to hearing the other side(s) of the story. This will help in finding a beneficial solution.
Depending on the conflict, there could be several outcomes. Some conflicts may not lend themselves to resolution. While some have been able to resume productive relationships with their mentors, others have changed major professors, or changed their degree objective. These outcomes are generally rare, but provide additional options. These are difficult decisions that will likely require extensive conversations and planning with your Academic Advisor and the program Chair.
Changing Your Major Professor
- Notify the program - chair, advisor, coordinator - of your desire to change mentors.
- Approach other faculty you think would be good possible mentors.
- Determine your financial support needs and employment opportunities with new mentors.
- Express to your mentor you would like a change.
- Create a timeframe/timeline to complete work with your current major professor.
- Discuss any implications on research, data, authorship, space, etc. Document any agreements to share data or continue authorship together.
- Fill out appropriate paperwork with your program and/or Graduate Studies.